Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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