Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize