xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
