I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
