dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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