i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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