Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
