Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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