I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i barfeds in our rink
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
