She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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