I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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