What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
one might say we're banned from that church
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
