I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
