Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
