I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
