Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i came on her dog
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
