We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
