grandma shit on top of the toilet
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
