She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize