There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
