But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
