She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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