My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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