sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize