i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
