Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize