He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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