I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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