brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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