you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
