I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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