The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
