Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
