Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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