I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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