I accidentally burped into my bong.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
