hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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