Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Panties = found
Randomize
