do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize