Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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