i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
