am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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