She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
