MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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