I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
