Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
