On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
