talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I deserve this hangover.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
