I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
