so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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