Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
