Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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