I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
