you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
