let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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