Sry I called you an 8
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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