just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
