im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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