Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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