my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
high people should be assigned attendants
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am mentally ready for anal.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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