yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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